Rizanne brushed a few white strands of hair away from her lover’s eyes, smiling tenderly as she recalled how dark it had been when she first met him. Black as a raven’s wing and twice as unruly as it was now, it had framed features still rounded with baby fat. In those days the thin-lipped mouth was quick to smile and time and duty had not yet etched deep lines of strain and worry in his face.
The room was quiet aside from Roland’s labored breathing, and she was grateful for it. The human High Court had been her home for decades, but the sense of not belonging always pressed in on her when confronted with mortals who resented her. And they would never accept the elven halfbreed who shared their High King’s bed.
Even now, seeing the irrefutable evidence of how different they were, his presence was a comfort to Rizanne. She had helped raise the child he’d been, taught him swordplay and driven home the importance of politics when he sneered at his tutors. She had supported the man he’d become during the brief succession war following his uncle’s death, and she had taken him to her bed as often as she’d fallen into his. She had sacrificed any chance of marriage for the High King he had to be, and she had been willing to give him up to the lady who accepted his ring.
But Meredith surprised us all, Twins bless her heart…
The High Queen was a practical woman with no romantic notions of her arranged marriage, and she had never attempted to be anything but a friend and confidant – to Roland and to Rizanne.
In the privacy of their chambers, the three had shed all public illusions. There, and only there, Rizanne and Roland were free to be lovers and Meredith didn’t need to curb her sharp tongue and sharper wit. They had been content, and the birth of four children hadn’t changed that. Rizanne’s kin would never allow her to bear the bastards of a human, and while she sometimes envied Meredith she was always grateful that the woman had given Roland what she herself could not. She had allowed Rizanne time with them, and she had taken pleasure in teaching the three boys as she had once taught their father. Meredith had insisted that the children should know the truth of royal life, and made certain that none of them harbored any resentment toward Rizanne.
And now, it’s almost over… I never understood how short a human life is, why everyone said it was better not to grow attached to their kind. If I’d listened, I wouldn’t have had to feel this pain…
Blinking to clear her blurred vision, Rizanne carefully raised the hand she held, placing a gentle kiss on it. Even in sleep, Roland’s grip tightened as if to reassure her. The thought made her smile through the tears.
“No matter how long I’ll live or how much I’ll hurt, I can’t regret loving you,” she told him. “Anda so naya, taní sei’en. Anda so feren.”
In the doorway Meredith hesitated before closing the door, feeling like an intruder but unwilling to leave Rizanne alone. The words were not meant for her ears; too intimate, too filled with pain.
‘We are truth, my beloved. We are eternal.’
Watching the couple, she felt a stab of pure anger at the gods for doing this to the people she loved most. For making it impossible for them to spend their lives together, for making longevity nothing but a curse. Her husband was a good man, and seeing him waste away from age and sickness had been difficult. She couldn’t imagine what it must be like for the elven healer.
I remember her eyes when she realized she could not help him. That kind of guilt could drive a man mad. And still she stays, torturing herself with the knowledge that when our great-grandchildren go to their graves, she will look as young as ever.
Never will I envy the elven lifespan.
“Riza?” she said quietly.
The redhead looked up; pale and drawn as she was, she still looked the picture of health next to Roland. She managed a tremulous smile for Meredith’s benefit, but the woman wasn’t fooled. She did accept the implied invitation and stepped forward to hug Rizanne’s shoulders before taking her seat by the other side of the bed.
“No change?”
Rizanne shook her head. “It’s best for him to sleep. The pain can’t reach him when he dreams.” Wistful gratitude colored her words as she gently lowered Roland’s hand again. “I thank Salan and my sister for that small mercy.”
“I can’t pay homage to an elven god, but please tell Vianne she has my thanks.” The words sounded inadequate even as she spoke them, but Meredith could find no better. She doubted either god or elf would care.
Rizanne stirred from her thoughts and looked at Meredith with clearer eyes than she had in a long time. There were lines on that dear face; lines caused by stress as well as sorrow. It made her frown.
“The courtiers are hounding you?”
Meredith nodded, her expression grim. “Vultures, the lot of them. They can’t wait for him to die; already flocking around Brennan, scurrying favor and trying to make him name his advisors. I am glad he’s a man grown, and not a child to be controlled.”
“He will rule well,” Rizanne agreed, “but I wish he didn’t need to.”
There was nothing to say to that, and they sat in silent vigil as the day waned and sunlight was replaced with moonlight. It was almost peaceful, and in the stillness both of them read the end of a King.
Most of the night had passed when Roland stirred. The two women shared a single, pained glance before leaning closer.
“We are here, sei’en,” Rizanne said as his eyelids fluttered before opening fully. “We are both here with you.”
She didn’t tell him to spare his strength, for they all knew that he would not live ‘til morning. This was farewell, and she would not mar it with pointless arguing. She would let him speak his mind, and she would drink in the sound of his voice one last time.
“My dear girls,” Roland said, gaze moving from his lover to his wife and back again, seeing the knowledge in their eyes. “I’m blessed to have known you, and doubly blessed to have loved you. Maybe someday, gods and Choir willing, we will see each other again.” He coughed weakly, and drew a wheezing breath. His gaze slid back to Meredith. “Our children are strong, but they will need you.”
Meredith nodded, her eyes bright with tears. “I wish you a smooth journey, my dear friend. You will be missed.”
Roland smiled, and looked at Rizanne. His hand clenched around hers, and his words were for her alone. “I regret leaving you so soon, but we knew it could not be avoided. Live your days freely, sei’en. Even truth leaves room for comfort.”
“I will try. For you, I will try.” Rizanne’s voice turned fierce. “But I will see you again. The Song is an eternity of truth, and we are part of it.”
“I thank you both… for making my life worthwhile.”
His farewells spoken, Roland gave up the struggle and let his heart still. No more breath passed his lips as his wife – now a widow – reached out a shaky hand to close his eyes. His lover – now free and already lost – gave voice to the song that had once laid her own parents to rest.
And so the soul of a King rose from its mortal shell, guided to the afterlife by an elven death hymn sung with truest love.