Dawn came. Light returned to the Realms, animals and people stirred and went about their everyday lives. None of them could have guessed at the chaos that filled the Sanctuary.
Orolin was lost; lost in Light and lost in memories. Memories left by faded dragons, memories from his own life, and – most shatteringly – the memory of Draca’s visit.
Until her words had brought the past back into startling clarity, Orolin had thought little of the time when Yssandra rose from the Abyss. The recollection unnerved him now as the action had then, her distress reaching him even through their weak bond.
Seeing her had made him wonder if the dragon council had condemned her to become that raging terror, or if they had simply saved themselves from bearing the brunt of her anger.
Not that it matters anymore.
Draca had been only partly right. It had not been the first time he gave her Light, but it was by a touch of it, by a strengthening of their bond, that Orolin had brought Yssandra back to sanity, or what passed for it.
And then she regretted, and she gave up her body and buried herself in thoughts of penance. If she knew I caused that shift in her, would she thank me or curse me?
Light roiled around him like great, agitated serpents, but Orolin didn’t see it, didn’t feel it. Thought and memory chased each other in dizzying directions.
At one time, he had argued before the council that Yssandra should be killed, while she was still too young to understand, too weak to be a threat.
Later, they were ordered to mate, and in all honesty Orolin had not found it a hardship. They were different, but at that point in time the difference enticed him.
So unafraid, so challenging… So determined never to be at a disadvantage, never to back away from anyone… Every moment a struggle to remain her own and never mine; just as I would not be hers… But the struggle was ours, and that was bond enough…
The first time he saw Draca, just hatched and adorable as only dragonets could be, he knew that he loved her as deeply as he could not love his mate. Even so, the sight of her mostly dark scales woke the chill of fear in him; fear of the future, and what it would hold for his kind.
Yssandra was exiled, and he dared to hope it would be enough to stop the Realms from changing further. He was relieved to see her go… Relieved, but –
– saddened, knowing that something was lost, and that maybe the sacrifice would give me nothing in exchange, and I pushed the first thread of Light into the bond, to keep it whole, to keep her mine –
– and in the end it hadn’t been enough. Yssandra had abandoned her own Realm; the dragons had faded, one by one, until Orolin was alone with Lorn and Draca. Alone in the strangeness of the changed Realms, teeming with life he didn’t want to acknowledge.
Retreating into the Sanctuary, the haven of Light where the rest of the world seemed not to matter, had been his only choice. To stay would have meant to fade, and Orolin couldn’t do that. Someone had to hold the reins of the Light and make sure the creatures filling the Realms didn’t devour it.
I thought that if I could separate the Light and the Darkness, I could unmake the past, and we could all start over. We could make it right this time. But there is no going back.
Now the future stretched before him, waiting for him to make another choice, and he wasn’t sure he could do it. Didn’t know if he could survive another mistake, didn’t know if Yssandra could survive another failure.
He had heard her threat when Draca rose into the Sanctuary, and he could feel her emotions through the link. She was angry, worried… even scared. Too unsettled to face the Light that morning.
I don’t know if we can bear another change, in any direction…
Wilhelmina woke with a feeling of unease, a feeling that only grew stronger when she came down to breakfast. Jaenelle was silent, ignoring Daemon’s worried glances and barely acknowledging when she was spoken to. Wilhelmina couldn’t help but notice her sister’s gaze drifting toward Lucivar, Marian and a subdued Daemonar. And that was when she realized what was wrong.
Yssandra wasn’t there.
Granted, the dragon had only joined them one morning, but it had seemed like she enjoyed being part of the family. From their conversation the day before, Wilhelmina knew that it meant the world to Yssandra to belong, to be included, and she couldn’t imagine her discarding that. Not now.
She wasn’t afraid for her, of course – it would be ridiculous to think someone had attacked her. No one could possibly be strong enough to be a threat to Yssandra, and if the impossible had happened, Wilhelmina was certain all the Blood would have felt her strike back.
No, it wasn’t physical danger Wilhelmina feared. But something must have happened during the night to disturb the mother of them all. It was her unease that made everyone in the room shift in their seats and nibble halfheartedly at their food.
Her lips pressed together in a stubborn line as she regarded her sister. Jaenelle obviously wasn’t going to do anything about the situation. Saetan was lost in thought. A quick glance confirmed that Marian was occupied with cheering Daemonar up. That left only one person who Yssandra had willingly spoken to, and actually made an effort to spend time with… Wilhelmina herself.
Abruptly rising from her seat, she hurried out of the dining room.
Jaenelle stared at her plate, Wilhelmina’s accusing gaze both painful and reassuring as the dark-haired witch abandoned her breakfast. She wished she could explain why she ignored Yssandra’s absence, but she didn’t dare. Not yet.
She must go to Mother freely, because she decided she should. If I tell her anything, if I affect her decision in any way, she will accomplish nothing.
She sighed and murmured a calming response to Daemon’s worried question if she and Cassandra were alright.
I can’t comfort Mother, for like calls to like and that will always be part of why I love her, of why I forgive her. She knows there is no true choice for me. The Blood dreamed of a savior who would respect Darkness, law and Protocol. How could I ever condemn the Mother of Darkness for killing landens when murder isn’t even a crime?
Jaenelle was used to seeing a problem, finding a solution and doing whatever necessary to make it happen. She admitted to herself that until now she had not understood what it was like to stand by and watch someone else try to do what she couldn’t. What neither Jewels nor knowledge could enable her to do, because she simply wasn’t the right person for the task.
But if Wilhelmina can help Mother…
Jaenelle smiled and gave Daemon her full attention.
Suddenly she understood why males fussed so much.
As she reached the hall, Wilhelmina faltered.
How am I going to find her? If something has happened, it is unlikely that she will respond to a psychic message. She bit her lip. Think, Wilhelmina, think! You can’t let her just disappear like this.
*You’re looking for Yssandra?*
Ladvarian’s soft mind-voice made her jump in surprise. She calmed herself and nodded.
“I’m worried because she didn’t come to breakfast this morning.”
Ladvarian wagged his tail, looking very pleased. *She is with Kaelas. She will be happy to see you.*
“You know where they are then?”
*We will ride the Winds.*
Wilhelmina nodded, smiling gratefully. “Lead the way, little Brother.”
Draca woke slowly, reluctantly. The room around her was dimly lit, the bed soft and the covers thick. It was so very tempting to just sink into the warmth and back into sleep.
She yawned and sat up. Blinking, she focused her eyes on Lorn’s face.
*Good morning,* he said, affection and worry mingling in his mental voice. *Don’t try to speak aloud.*
*What happened?* Draca asked, her mind still fuzzy with sleep.
*What do you remember?* Lorn countered.
She had to stop and think. *I… I went to the Sssanctuary, and Father wasss… He wasss angry, and he wouldn’t lisssten to me. And then –*
Memory hit her hard; denial breaking, Orolin’s pain spreading to become hers, being forced out of the Sanctuary… She shuddered.
*My throat is raw from screaming,* she concluded, not needing Lorn’s confirming nod. *But I got through to him, he knows how he’s affecting the Realms now. I don’t know what he’ll do with the knowledge, but he has to do something.*
Not for the first time, Lorn wished that he had turned human when his mate did. If he’d had arms, he could have held her, comforted her. As it was, he could do little more than stay with her, and watch the desperation in her eyes.
Wilhelmina let go of the Sapphire Wind she and Ladvarian had been riding, landing easily on a grassy knoll overlooking a small lake. She didn’t recognize the place, though in different circumstances she would have appreciated the view. It could have been anywhere, but judging by the time they’d traveled she didn’t think they’d left Dhemlan.
Looking around, she couldn’t spot anyone, so she turned a questioning look on Ladvarian.
“Where are they?”
*Close. She called the clouds to keep the light away.* The little Sceltie looked back unblinkingly. *She doesn’t want it now.*
“Doesn’t –” Wilhelmina shook her head. “Never mind, it can wait. Please tell me where they are.”
Ladvarian trotted down the slope, turning along the edge of the water. Wilhelmina followed him, surprised to see that the small hill they’d been standing on had been hollowed out – by nature or Craft she couldn’t tell – and more than shocked to see the pair sitting there. Yssandra was clinging desperately to Kaelas, face hidden in his fur and shoulders trembling with suppressed sobs. The Arcerian spared Wilhelmina a less than welcoming glance before fixing his gaze on Ladvarian, communicating on spear threads that kept Wilhelmina from listening.
“Yssandra?” Wilhelmina asked softly. “What’s wrong?”
As the older woman raised her head to look at her unexpected visitors, Wilhelmina’s heart clenched at the sight of her tear-streaked face.
“What happened?” she exclaimed, hurrying to kneel by Yssandra’s side and slide one arm around her. With her free hand, she smoothed agitated stands of hair away from the dark eyes watching her in surprise. Realizing Yssandra wasn’t going to speak, she prodded, “Did someone say something to upset you?”
Yssandra shook her head, looking away. She seemed suddenly interested in Ladvarian, the Sceltie having sat back on his haunches just like Kaelas.
“All right, so something happened,” Wilhelmina thought aloud. “I don’t recall anyone at breakfast being hurt. It must be someone at the Keep, then?”
Yssandra blinked, gaze snapping back to Wilhelmina. “Yes, it’s… It’s Draca. I think she’s hurt.”
“Oh!” Wilhelmina wasn’t a mother herself, but she knew what it was like to worry about family. Feeling the sobs start anew, she gently disentangled Yssandra’s hands from Kaelas’ fur so she could pull the distraught woman into her arms and rock her softly.
“Let it all out,” she murmured. Uncaring of how it must have looked to others, she comforted Yssandra as best she could, glad that both Ladvarian and Kaelas stayed with them. If she’d been aware of the storm raging outside their little cave and the Craft shield protecting them from it, she’d have been even more grateful.
When Yssandra calmed, she was content to stay where she was. One arm still around Wilhelmina, she reached out to caress first Kaelas then Ladvarian in thanks for the support they offered.
“I’m sorry,” she said, dissolving the storm clouds into thin wisps that did little to dampen the sunlight. “I just wish I could have done something for her.”
“Maybe you should go see her?” Wilhelmina suggested. “So you can see for yourself how she is?”
Yssandra shook her head, her pain a tangible thing around them. “She doesn’t want me there. I can feel it in the Darkness. Lorn and Geoffrey are with her, and they don’t want me there. She spoke to Orolin and she won’t tell me if she’s alright.”
“Who’s Orolin?” Wilhemlina felt like slapping herself, but the question slipped out before she could think. Luckily, Yssandra didn’t seem to notice.
“What kind of mother am I if I can’t protect my own daughter? Why did she ask me here if she won’t even let me try?”
“You’re a better mother than Leland was,” Wilhelmina said firmly. “I believe Draca wants to protect you. She wants you to be happy, not worried about her, but I don’t think she would keep you away if she were injured enough to need healing. And now you know how Saetan feels when Jaenelle is… being Jaenelle.”
Yssandra’s lips twitched, but her eyes were still sad. “Happy?”
Wilhelmina nodded. “You have been, haven’t you? I know you were grateful for the chance to be with family, and relieved that no one blames you for the taint or what came of it.” She nudged Yssandra lightly, her voice soft and teasing to avoid any guilt her words might provoke. “I also know a certain little Eyrien missed his favorite playmate this morning.”
“He did?” Yssandra seemed so shocked by it that Wilhelmina had to smile.
“Yes, he did. Marian couldn’t make him stop pouting. It was cute, really.”
Yssandra didn’t say anything, and Wilhelmina didn’t want to push the issue. She stood up instead, pulling Yssandra with her.
“Come on, we’re going back to the Hall.”
Yssandra blinked. “Why?”
“By now, breakfast dishes have been taken care of, and Mrs. Beale won’t mind if we have that cooking lesson I promised you. She might even help, if only to make sure we don’t destroy her kitchen.”
“I don’t think –”
“It will take your mind off things, and give you something to do until Draca wants to see you.” Wilhelmina smiled tentatively. “Please?”
Yssandra hesitated a moment longer, but nodded when Ladvarian nudged her leg.
“Alright.”